What happened to Mary? SHE GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A TIRE!!!

Ok, not so much a tire, but a really large, empty Grey Goose Vodka bottle. And I don't think the girls name was Mary...but thats not too relevant right now.

It was Friday night (October 21st) and I was enjoying the company of my friends at Tricia's apartment in Dover. There was a little bit of beirut going on with the girl's brand new, custom designed beirut table. (courtesy of Matt Maes, he's such a swell guy) I was sitting along the side of the table pretty much at half court. To my right was a fellow spectator Kristin....I think. To my left was Mike Collins, participating in the game. I was sitting directly underneath an opening that goes between the kitchen and living room, sitting in that long opening were several empty wine bottles, and one particularly large empty grey goose bottle. I mean, it was freakin huge, everybody commented on its enormity at least once throughout the night.

It is sitting next to your standard, everyday, 750 mL wine bottles. As you can see by comparison, it is significantly bigger....and heavier. Directly underneath this little setup is the futon.

Photo Courtesy of Tricia Barry

Now if you can utilize the spatial side of your brain and picture the setup, me, directly in the middle on the other side of that opening, Kristin on my right, Mikey on the left. Got it? Good, because I'm moving on.

At this juncture, Mikey proceeds to sink a cup (if you are not familiar with beirut or the rules, then you need some serious education). Sinking the cup, as always, provokes much celebration, including, but not limited to, high-fives, secret handshakes, hugs, girls screaming, fist pumping and pound-outs. The pound-out is of our primary concern during this discussion. Kristin acknowledges Mikey's amazing beirut abilities and offers the obligatory pound-out. Not so fast. As I sit in the middle, block the pound-out, and catch Mikey's fist. He goes for the second hand, and I catch his fist again. He begins to struggle slightly as I hold on to his fists. (At this point I should let you know that Micheal Collins his like an Nth degree blackbelt or something at Tae Kwon Do, so he could kill me seven times before I the ground.) Refusing to let go, I struggle with Mike. He then pulls pretty hard and inadvertantly hits the afformentioned Grey Goose bottle. It should also be known that at this point, there was a girl whom is somewhat related to someone who lives in that house, lying down with her head directly under the location of the Grey Goose bottle.

You can see where this one is going.....

The long and short of it, Mikey knocks a very heavy bottle onto an unsuspecting girls head. I shouted out "Nice work Mikey!" and everybody instantly believed it to be his fault. When in truth, it was completely and without a doubt my fault. And thats what makes this so funny to me. I completely shifted the blame entirely off myself, and entirely on to Mikey Collins. I'm such an ass.

Now I just hope Mike doesn't hunt me down and eliminate me with his martial arts prowess.