Too bad the title of Lameking is already taken...

The Crowned Prince of Lame perhaps? Or maybe the First Regent of Lametude? How about just...Loser. Either way, my life isn't exactly what one would call "exciting." (At least the real lameking's life is starting to take off in sunny San Diego)

It is actually quite sad how pathetic my life is. In fact, there is only one other real person that I know that has a sorrier life than me, and thats because he spends his days off at work, and is excited to be at work, and loves to do extra shit around work without being paid for it. I don't think he has any friends....none that I know of anyways....but I digress.

Since I came back from JMU (almost 2 years ago now) I have had a pretty sorry social life. (This isn't a knock on my friends, they are actually great.) For about 8 or 9 months, I was merely a college dropout who lived in my parents basement, without any real social liberties. (Sounds kinda like the tiny man) Most of my coworkers, which was actually at a pizza hut in Portsmouth, were lowlifes, and I tried to avoid hanging out with them for fear of developing bad habits. So my only social moments came when my friends would come back from school for whatever break. Few and far between.

But last year college came back into my life at good old UNH. But after really fucking up at JMU, I decided to forego any real fun and focus on good grades, while working a little on the side, now at Joe's Pizza (its been over a year now?). After a stellar first semester at UNH, and subsequently becoming of legal age to enjoy libations at certain late night gathering places, I decided to "kick it up a notch." I went out a bit more, but nothing major.

However, not living in a dormatory freshman year at UNH really put a crimp my my social circle. Most of my UNH friends are people that I knew in high school and just became better friends with in college. (Again, nothing wrong with these people.) I have very few nonWHSers as facebook friends. (ps- if you read this and you are not a facebook friend, add me you bitches) And the fact that I'm on facebook kinda upsets me, since I swore it off forever.

But now as my third semester at UNH is coming to a close, I realize nothing over the past 2 years has changed, except my status in school. I still work too much for my own good, and I still have a social network two sizes too small. I haven't had a girlfriend in a very long time, and its too embarassing to mention the last time I had relations with a girl, so I'm not even going to mention it.

My life has actually been so depressing as of late, most of you would probably have killed yourselves if you were me. Here's the top developments in my life lately:

1. Moving out of the basement into an actual room.
2. building my own brand new computer (its really sweet)
3. Buying/playing World of Warcraft for said computer
4. completing a really hard quest in WoW with my lvl 12 rogue troll character (seriously?)
5. Playing Fable: Lost Chapters and Civilization IV (these three games have caused me to not sleep at all lately)
6. Not failing managerial accounting
7. Starting this website
   

Yes. Thats it. Those have really been like my top 6 things of the past 3+ months. I am pretty sure somebody just started tying up a noose with their computer cords after reading that. No where in that do you see getting laid, getting a new girlfriend, getting a raise at work, kicking azz in school, winning the lottery, meeting Keeley Hazell, or flying in an F-16 while drinking straight tequila and harassing the pilot.

So to sum it up, I'm a loser, and my life sucks. I'm now stuck at mediocrity in school, I hate my job, I'm a nerd. In order to spice up my life, I'm considering joining the Vacuum Cleaners Collectors Club so I can meet some new interesting, probably cooler than me people like RJ Vanik, prez of the VCCC.

And if that doesn't work, maybe I can at least take solace in the fact that I don't have a gay lip ring.