Project Snowblind
12/9/05 - 8:15 AM -- The alarm goes off. It sounds like a perverted beep hellbent on ruining your slumber. I slap at it a few times and it shuts off. In 15 minutes I'll be shocked out of bed by Mozart's Symphony No. 40. Knowing that this is not the way I want to kick off the last day of classes I hurriedly find the cell phone and disable its alarm. I then realize that there was the acute possibility of snow for early in the morning and during the day. After a few minutes of holding the phone and collecting my drowsy thoughts (there were only two of them), I make a phone call.
8:18 AM -- 862-0000. The UNH Storm line. I dial and wait for the automated voice....because it costs too much money to pay someone to pick up the phone. (They really should adopt what JMU does, and put the announcment on their homepage). "There are no scheduled curtailed operations at this time." So the snow isn't that bad. I get out of bed and proceed with normal morning protocol.
9:05 AM -- I pull out of the driveway. I have to make it to UNH in time for a 10:10 class, and seeing that there are questionable road conditions, I decide it wouldn't be prudent to stop off for coffee and bagels on my way in. My neighborhood isn't plowed yet, though it rarely is at this juncture of a storm.
9:06 AM -- I reach the end of Glendale Ave, where it connects to Lafayette Road (US Rte. 1). Lafayette is plowed either, and there is a steady stream of snow coming down, with no signs of letting up. But surely UNH wouldn't put me, along with the couple other thousand commuters (both faculty, staff, and students) in any sort of real peril just so we could go to school today. But wait, Winnacunnet (my local school district) along with Portsmouth, Dover, Newmarket, Exeter, and Oyster River (Durham) are all cancelled for the day, along with UNH-Manchvegas. They must have over reacted right? I mean there is barely 2 or 3 inches on the ground, and they were saying all week, they being those asshole weathermen that I have such high esteem for, were telling us that we were going to get 3-5 inches max. The storm is almost over and I can finish my learning for the semester!!
9:30 AM -- I reach the Portsmouth Traffic Circle. Still a good 15-20 minutes away from UNH on a clear day. I took Route 1 because I figured there was no way in hell Route 108 (the alternate UNH route) would have been cleared. Well, Route 1, and the subsequent roads Spaulding Turnpike and Route 4 weren't cleared either. And the snow has actually INTENSIFIED at this point. But no, I have infallable believe that my higher learning institution wouldn't try and kill me. Otherwise, how would they collect those large sums of money from me if I was dead.
9:55 AM -- I reach A lot. Usually A-lot is full by this time, and I have to park at East Bumfuck lot and ride a bus to campus. But it looks like most weren't as foolish as me. They didn't trust President Anne Weaver Hart like I did. It is at this point that I remember a similar style of snowstorm occuring last school year, in which UNH did not cancel class. And a professor died on her way to work. Let me repeat that for you all. A PROFESSOR DIED ON HER WAY TO WORK. AND THE UNIVERSITY ADMINISTRATION DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH. Such is the way of living in New England I suppose...
"Oh I'm Anne Weaver Hart! I don't care I risked hundreds of lives today by not cancelling school. I'm a super ice bitch!!"
10:10 AM -- Chemistry....i'll spare you those hideous details...
11:10 AM -- Managerial Accounting....I don't want to put you guys to sleep. At this point I didn't realize that the snowfall rate was increasing while I listened to Meng Yuan stammer her way through the last part of Chapter 13.
12:30 PM -- After taking a pretty long shit, I make the looooooooooong hike back to A lot. (At this point I would have rather taken the bus to nowhere) Might I add, Durham is a mess. There was no reason for anybody to be out at all today...walking or driving.
12:50 PM -- I've left downtown Durham, and I'm driving along Route 4 in WHITEOUT conditions. I can't see more than 50 feet in front of me. My Chevy Blazer, which really sucks, sucks even worse in the snow. I'm fishtailin' left and right, chuggin along at about 25 mph. When I reach the Spaulding Turnpike, I have massive ice buildup on my wipers so they aren't clearing anything off the windshield. Its pretty scary now as cars are disappearing a mere 20 feet ahead of me. This is scary shit.
1:30 PM -- I finally get home, and I can't even make it up the driveway. I turn on the assholes at the weather channel. Oops, they got it wrong. They said, for apparently the 3rd or 4th time today, that they were going to have to upgrade their snowfall totals to a whopping 12"+. More than a foot of snow. Wow. Thats at least twice as much snow as you said we were originally going to get. Thanks for lying to me. Again.
As I was shoveling my very large driveway, the snow continues to fall. It ends...eventually, and by my best estimates, we got about 15 or 16 inches of snow at my house. Thats a lot more than a foot of snow even. Yup...
So basically what it boils down to is this.
1) Do not trust The Weather Channel. They are asshole douchebag losers. They lie to you all the time. And when the shit really hits the fan, all they can tell you is what you can already figure out by looking out your window. Fuck you Weather Channel.
And then one of two things: either...
a. UNH watches the weather channel. If so, then their actions today were somewhat understandable, as TWC tried to fool all of us into thinking it wouldn't be so bad. But UNH should be slapped in the head and reprimanded. No More Weather Channel for you.
or
b. UNH Wants To Kill Its Constituents. This is what I'm leaning towards. They probably already knew it was going to be a large storm, and didn't care. So what if it's the last day of classes. We need to put as many people at risk as humanly possible. Those fuckers couldn't give two shits if I slid off the bridge and into Great Bay today. But they might give two shits when my family sues them for gross negligence, or negligent homocide, or something. Fuck you too UNH, I hope you and the Weather Channel both just burn in hell someday.
8:18 AM -- 862-0000. The UNH Storm line. I dial and wait for the automated voice....because it costs too much money to pay someone to pick up the phone. (They really should adopt what JMU does, and put the announcment on their homepage). "There are no scheduled curtailed operations at this time." So the snow isn't that bad. I get out of bed and proceed with normal morning protocol.
9:05 AM -- I pull out of the driveway. I have to make it to UNH in time for a 10:10 class, and seeing that there are questionable road conditions, I decide it wouldn't be prudent to stop off for coffee and bagels on my way in. My neighborhood isn't plowed yet, though it rarely is at this juncture of a storm.
9:06 AM -- I reach the end of Glendale Ave, where it connects to Lafayette Road (US Rte. 1). Lafayette is plowed either, and there is a steady stream of snow coming down, with no signs of letting up. But surely UNH wouldn't put me, along with the couple other thousand commuters (both faculty, staff, and students) in any sort of real peril just so we could go to school today. But wait, Winnacunnet (my local school district) along with Portsmouth, Dover, Newmarket, Exeter, and Oyster River (Durham) are all cancelled for the day, along with UNH-Manchvegas. They must have over reacted right? I mean there is barely 2 or 3 inches on the ground, and they were saying all week, they being those asshole weathermen that I have such high esteem for, were telling us that we were going to get 3-5 inches max. The storm is almost over and I can finish my learning for the semester!!
9:30 AM -- I reach the Portsmouth Traffic Circle. Still a good 15-20 minutes away from UNH on a clear day. I took Route 1 because I figured there was no way in hell Route 108 (the alternate UNH route) would have been cleared. Well, Route 1, and the subsequent roads Spaulding Turnpike and Route 4 weren't cleared either. And the snow has actually INTENSIFIED at this point. But no, I have infallable believe that my higher learning institution wouldn't try and kill me. Otherwise, how would they collect those large sums of money from me if I was dead.
9:55 AM -- I reach A lot. Usually A-lot is full by this time, and I have to park at East Bumfuck lot and ride a bus to campus. But it looks like most weren't as foolish as me. They didn't trust President Anne Weaver Hart like I did. It is at this point that I remember a similar style of snowstorm occuring last school year, in which UNH did not cancel class. And a professor died on her way to work. Let me repeat that for you all. A PROFESSOR DIED ON HER WAY TO WORK. AND THE UNIVERSITY ADMINISTRATION DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH. Such is the way of living in New England I suppose...
"Oh I'm Anne Weaver Hart! I don't care I risked hundreds of lives today by not cancelling school. I'm a super ice bitch!!"10:10 AM -- Chemistry....i'll spare you those hideous details...
11:10 AM -- Managerial Accounting....I don't want to put you guys to sleep. At this point I didn't realize that the snowfall rate was increasing while I listened to Meng Yuan stammer her way through the last part of Chapter 13.
12:30 PM -- After taking a pretty long shit, I make the looooooooooong hike back to A lot. (At this point I would have rather taken the bus to nowhere) Might I add, Durham is a mess. There was no reason for anybody to be out at all today...walking or driving.
12:50 PM -- I've left downtown Durham, and I'm driving along Route 4 in WHITEOUT conditions. I can't see more than 50 feet in front of me. My Chevy Blazer, which really sucks, sucks even worse in the snow. I'm fishtailin' left and right, chuggin along at about 25 mph. When I reach the Spaulding Turnpike, I have massive ice buildup on my wipers so they aren't clearing anything off the windshield. Its pretty scary now as cars are disappearing a mere 20 feet ahead of me. This is scary shit.
1:30 PM -- I finally get home, and I can't even make it up the driveway. I turn on the assholes at the weather channel. Oops, they got it wrong. They said, for apparently the 3rd or 4th time today, that they were going to have to upgrade their snowfall totals to a whopping 12"+. More than a foot of snow. Wow. Thats at least twice as much snow as you said we were originally going to get. Thanks for lying to me. Again.
As I was shoveling my very large driveway, the snow continues to fall. It ends...eventually, and by my best estimates, we got about 15 or 16 inches of snow at my house. Thats a lot more than a foot of snow even. Yup...
So basically what it boils down to is this.
1) Do not trust The Weather Channel. They are asshole douchebag losers. They lie to you all the time. And when the shit really hits the fan, all they can tell you is what you can already figure out by looking out your window. Fuck you Weather Channel.
And then one of two things: either...
a. UNH watches the weather channel. If so, then their actions today were somewhat understandable, as TWC tried to fool all of us into thinking it wouldn't be so bad. But UNH should be slapped in the head and reprimanded. No More Weather Channel for you.
or
b. UNH Wants To Kill Its Constituents. This is what I'm leaning towards. They probably already knew it was going to be a large storm, and didn't care. So what if it's the last day of classes. We need to put as many people at risk as humanly possible. Those fuckers couldn't give two shits if I slid off the bridge and into Great Bay today. But they might give two shits when my family sues them for gross negligence, or negligent homocide, or something. Fuck you too UNH, I hope you and the Weather Channel both just burn in hell someday.
posted by BronxBomberz41 at 4:13 PM
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